Vita Nova

Yes, there was a survey up here titled “100 Truths” but I deleted it. Now this is something worth sharing:

I’m not sure if every girl has this list, but I’m pretty sure almost every girl has it. For the confused guys, this will be an informative blog for you. It’s called the “Never” list (at least, that’s the name I made up for it since it gets straight to the point). And no, not all girls call it by this name, it’s not some secret universally known thing to all females. Pretty sure that a lot of guys have this list too.

So basically, there are some guys that I would never, and I seriously mean never consider dating. No matter the situation, even if it was the end of the world and we were the only two people left. For me, once you’re in that list, there’s never getting out. I’m sorry for those of you who are in it, but you have to deal with it. Haha. Basically, it’s set in stone once you’re in it.

For other girls though, they might have it on paper and pencil. So perhaps there is a chance of getting erased from that list. I’m trying to end on a positive note here; pursue those who are willing to change their minds. Hahahahahahaha.

This is the most unprofessional blog I have written so far, I think.
(insert nervous laugh here).

How did I even start to blog? I remember it started out with a bet on vent during the summer days when everyone had nothing to do. The bet was simple; who could blog the longest? I think almost everyone stopped blogging except a few. Haha, and there are those who blog rarely. I’m glad that I started though, it’s let me meditate on my thoughts and feelings. Thank you summer days.

So there’s this thing on facebook where you write something honest and from the heart that you want to say to someone. Then you tag them. So basically, one number represents one person. But sometimes it’s obvious if you tag them and I wanted to do it, so here goes.

1. I don’t think you understand how much I care about you. I’m never going to stop caring.
2. You’re so close minded. Everything you say is so biased and you never see things from the other person’s point of view. I don’t even understand how you could live a life that’s so blinded by your thoughts. You never take the time to listen, and when you do, you always find a way to defend yourself again. Even when you’re wrong you don’t admit it. You give too much stress to those around you. You don’t notice how much people pray for you. You don’t notice how many tears have been shed for you.
3. I know you’ve struggled a lot with your personal problems and I’m happy you turned out like the strong person you are today.
4. I’m kind of worried about your future. If you don’t take the time to realize the mistakes you’re making right now and actually admit that you’re making them, you’re going to end up with nothing.
5. On a positive note, I’m glad you’re my friend. I’m glad I can tell you things. I’m glad I have someone to go to when I’m in need.
6. Have you heard of “princess syndrome”? Well, you’ve got it. The whole world has to be centered around you.
7. I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. <3
8. You taught me so much. A lot of it consisted of what not to be like, all the things that I shouldn’t do. Thanks.
9. Why do you gossip so much? Is it really necessary to talk about every single thing that happens to every single person? Your personality is so unattractive.
10. You have horrible social skills, although they’ve gotten better. Let’s hope that it only gets better for your sake.
11. You’re a fun person to be around. You always find ways to make me smile.
12. Another one of my friendships that I want to keep forever. Hope to keep in touch with you in the future!
13. I know you’re hiding something, and I’m pretty sure I have a pretty accurate guess to what it is. But since it’s private and you’re not willing to share, I’m not going to pry into your business.
14. I think you’re one of the most genuine people I have ever met. Your future spouse is a very lucky person.
15. Are you trying to hide your true self behind your fake one? There’s a real one under all those layers, and you reveal it from time to time. Actually, I’m not sure if I should call it “fake” but more of someone you feel like you have to be in the public eye. It’s okay, I like both sides of you.
16. Stay strong and stop crying. Take chances regardless of how much it might hurt the other person, because you’ve been getting hurt all this time.
17. You’re kind of bland, and cute. Haha, I have fun talking to you.
18. I want to slap you in the face for everything you’re doing right now. Again, one of those people who are blinded by what they think is right. But it’s okay, I’ll give you time and see how this goes.
19. I’ve noticed you’re quite stubborn too, and quite rebellious at heart. But please don’t end up like the one influencing you.
20. Sometimes I’m not sure if you act “dumb” on purpose or not, and it used to be annoying. But now I just look over it.

I think I like small groups now.

Happy New Year! Well, 2009 was not a very good year for me so I’m hoping that maybe this year will be better. So a new year should mean  a new start, right? Then let’s go through this year with no dramas. Please, they are a pain in the butt. I would say I’m pretty decent with handling drama, but not the best. However, I am learning and I hope I can help through this blog because some people just never learn.

1. Communication
This is the most crucial thing that came up in the top of my head when I thought about drama. In order to understand what’s going on, there needs to be communication involved. This is simple and straight forward. Talk to the opposing side, get the story straight and discuss. Because the last thing that needs to happen is miscommunication, along with assumptions of other people that get involved in the story.  

2. Understand the other side
This is another important factor when dealing with drama, and it can be pretty hard to do for some. Ever since I was young I was taught to understand a situation from the other person’s point of view. I have stuck with this ever since I can remember, and now it’s a part of my personality. Basically, this is an act of selflessness because no one likes a selfish person. When dealing with drama, one has to learn to not be biased as much as possible. It’s difficult, I know, especially when the latter has done such a terrible thing that is incomprehensible. But this will lead the drama one step closer to being solved.

3. Don’t lie
This is obvious, and I’ve learned. Just don’t do it, it just causes more problems.

4. Do not bring other people into the drama
I really do not understand people who do this, since it seriously makes things worse. Why would anyone want the drama to get bigger? That just causes more stress and frustration. I guess some people like that kind of stuff? The publicity of it all, I can see how that would get a drama pumping and getting big. But the point is to cool it down, not make it sizzle and pop. Basically, this is what happens when people are brought in dramas:

• Most likely they will take sides because they have only heard one side of the story (which goes back to number 2).
• Then they will probably spill the beans about the story that they heard (keep in mind that it is probably biased due to the fact they haven’t heard the opposing side’s story) which will bring even more people into it.
• If someone is holding a grudge against one of the people in the drama, they might also use that as a random excuse to choose sides against the one they are holding a grudge on.

Another thing that goes into this category is to keep your mouth shut. Does that sound mean? Because it should. Because telling other people brings them into it somehow most often.

5. Apologize if you are at fault
If at fault, it’s obvious that you should apologize. For almost everyone, it’s hard to admit that they have done something wrong but when the time comes, it’s the right thing to do. Though if the latter is the one at fault then there are a few options: wait or confront. Waiting takes time and will probably cause tension amongst the situation. Confronting on the other hand, might be difficult to do. They might not take it well and attack you in self defense and things might just get worse. But if they did something wrong, then they should be informed about it. How terrible would it be if they spent their whole life thinking that they didn’t do anything wrong and keep acting that way? Terrible for the others they meet throughout their life at least.

6. Calm and cool down
Essentially, I’m tying it all down for you. Don’t hype up the drama to make it big. Stop getting fired about it and calm down. If the latter is hyped up about it, balance it out and take a chill pill. Most often, they will get bored of it and calm down themselves. Another thing is, give time for the latter to go through their “calming” stage. You might be all chill about it but they might still be hyped up. I’m guessing that dealing with that will be stressful so ignore it until they’ve let some steam out of their system. If they keep ignoring and hyping up the drama, it will do more damage onto them then it does to you.

So, summing it all up: bring down the drama. No one needs drama in their life unless you’re one of those who enjoy it… then I don’t know what to say to that.

Hello. My name is Dawn. I am 17 years old. I am asian female. I am stubborn because I do what I want. I am open minded and I don’t care if you go against everything in my religion. I love to do things for the experience regardless of how some might oppose to it. I am what I am.

When you first see me, what is your first impression of me? Do I give off a materialistic vibe because of the way I care about how I dress? Does that mean I’m materialistic? Just because of my appearance, why am I categorized into society’s ridiculous generalization of “Oh she must be … because of her clothes, because of her looks, because of this and that”. Now don’t get me wrong and think that I’m saying I’m pretty because that is the wrong message you’re getting.

No one knows me 100%. It’s sad in a way I guess. I remember someone saying “Doesn’t it feel so good to have that one friend who you can tell anything to?”. I remember thinking, No, I don’t know how good that feels. I’m probably not going to know how that feels for a while. No one bothers, you know? The person who knows the most about me though would be my mother. I tell her a lot of things that most mothers would not be pleased about, but she’s my mother so I can do that. So how in the world, when no one knows everything about me, do they have enough information to put me in a category?

I remember this happening at a retreat once, while we were gathering ideas for skits. The counselor asked, “Who should we pick as the mean/popular/bratty girl?”. I’m not sure which one of those words she used but the character we were portraying consisted of those qualities. Anyways, I don’t think I’m any of those three words. At least I don’t see myself that way. So this one girl shouts out, “Dawn!” and everyone else follows repeating my name. So first of all, the girl who first suggested me doesn’t know me at all. Second of all, all the other girls who followed her don’t know me at all. None of them were close friends of mine, and none of them knew me that well. What ticks me off the most is that the girl who first mentioned my name has made countless accusations about me after that. It’s ridiculous, you know? Assuming when you don’t know anything.

It’s just frustrating, you know? I wanted to let it out. How in the world do people come up with an assumption about me without having facts to back them up? How? How? How? There are those who know a lot of things about me, but those people aren’t the ones making the assumptions. Because if it was them, I would understand. So if you’re not one of them, don’t make assumptions. Because you’re wrong. And you will always be wrong until you get to know me.

Before I start to talk about anything I would just like to write of the immense pain I am in. Yesterday was Turkey Bowl 2009, and I played for ODPC. Today is sunday and I cannot laugh without feeling a bit of pain. It hurts to walk. It hurts to move. It hurts to laugh.

Okay, I’m done complaining.

Honestly I don’t know what to talk about right now. I actually have a notebook of all the things that I would like to talk about but it’s pretty far away from me, and by looking at the previous sentences I am in no condition to go around my house searching for it. Right now, I should be working on my five page essay for AP english about the book Moby Dick. In the beginning I really liked it but as I went on, it sucked out my soul little by little.

I was surfing on WordPress and I came across a friend’s entry. It got me really sad and I felt like crying for them. I never knew, and don’t understand how they can put up such heart breaking things on a website.

School is really terrible for me right now. For the underclassmen who think that their classes are hard, I would like to give a warning to the upcoming years. It’s kind of like skipping in a field full of happiness and joy, then suddenly stepping into quicksand.

I don’t know what to talk about. I’m having a major writer’s block. I should go to my notebook and look at the topics I have down.

How about I write a sneak peak to something I will write about: I really despise jerks.

Nathan Chung 9:27 pm
    want to see and find out?
kanggers 9:28 pm
    see what
Nathan Chung 9:28 pm
    who is more mature
kanggers 9:28 pm
    how do you find that out
Nathan Chung 9:28 pm
    simply ask.
kanggers 9:29 pm
    Whom
Nathan Chung 9:29 pm
    people
    that we both know
kanggers 9:31 pm
    okay
    ask
Nathan Chung 9:32 pm
    nathan is korean 9:31 pm
        yo who’s mroe mature
        dawn or me
    DANG willy CHANG 9:31 pm
        me
    LOOOOOOOOOOL
Nathan Chung 9:33 pm
    hwanNOTjuan 9:33 pm
        neither
    dawn is more mature
    wtfreak
kanggers 9:33 pm
    HAHA
Nathan Chung 9:33 pm
    will said that
kanggers 9:34 pm
    THAT’S RIGHT
Nathan Chung 9:34 pm
    …
    NO
    WTFREAK
    sueeeei 9:34 pm
        dawn
        LOL
    FML
    nathan is korean 9:34 pm
        yo who’s more mature
        dawn or me
    eddieTHEHOTNESS 9:34 pm
        dawn…
kanggers 9:34 pm
    LOL.
Nathan Chung 9:34 pm
    WOW
    WHAT IS THIS
    ….
kanggers 9:36 pm
    do you like my away
Nathan Chung 9:36 pm
    
    eddieTHEHOTNESS 9:35 pm
        dawn is prob the most mature out of our grade
Nathan Chung 9:36 pm
    WHAT THE HECK MAN
 Nathan Chung (nathan is korean) is available 9:37 pm
….. what is this? -o- 1s ago Comment
Nathan Chung 9:38 pm
    hwanNOTjuan 9:37 pm
        dawns more mature
    i refuse this outcome.
kanggers 9:39 pm
    owned.
    HAHAAH
Nathan Chung 9:39 pm
    fml.
kanggers 9:39 pm
    LOL
Nathan Chung 9:39 pm
    this is madness
kanggers 9:41 pm
    THIS ISS AMERICAAAAAAA
Nathan Chung 9:41 pm
    …
    man.
    LOL
kanggers 9:42 pm
    Hwan Cho 9:41 pm
        LOL
        nathans like a little boy
    HAHAHAAH
    WOOOO
Nathan Chung 9:42 pm
    …
    WOW
Nathan Chung 9:43 pm
    we shoulda done a different poll
kanggers 9:43 pm
    LOL
    im putting this in my blog
    
Nathan Chung 9:44 pm
    ..
    WOW
        i say you
        !
    FROM AMY
    …
    we shoulda done a different topic
    -o-
kanggers 9:45 pm
    a m y y sjileeee 9:44 pm
        i was trying to make him feel better? LOL, idk
    LOL
    HAHAHAHA
    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHA
Nathan Chung 9:45 pm
    ..
    FML
 Nathan Chung (nathan is korean) is available 9:45 pm
UGH 1s ago Comment
Nathan Chung 9:46 pm
    …

LOL.

Most girls have done it before, and it’s a fact that many guys do it also. I’ve actually felt like talking about this for a while but I don’t know what’s happening these days. There’s way too much procrastination going on, along with all the homework that’s attatched to my daily schedule.

I’m guilty of doing this but because of the fact that I feel uncomfortable at times, I’ve tried stopping. And you know, I think it’s effective, thinking about not doing it.

The “it” I’m talking about is this: When someone points things out to make the other person and everyone around them notice it. Know what I’m talking about? There could be many different intentions to why people do it. I don’t think that I can list all of them here but I’m willing to write some examples.

Example #1:
Person 1 notices that person 2 has makeup on and decides to point it out. The reasons for pointing this out might vary. Perhaps it’s due to jealousy, thinking that the other person looks prettier than they, but only because of the makeup that they have on. Or maybe it’s to make it obvious to the surrounding people that the other person’s done something to change his/her appearance. Honestly, there could be good intentions to this, but mostly it’s quite awkward and uncomfortable for the person recieving the insult/compliment.

Person 1: -Standing in a crowd full of people-
Hey, did you put make up on today ?

Person 2: Yeah..

Person 1: Oh yeah, you looked different today so I was just wondering.

See what kind of situation this makes? It’s uncomfortable. Obviously the first person has some sort of negative reason to asking the second person about their appearance.

These things can be said in a nice way too:

Person 1: -Standing in a crowd full of people-
Hey, you look prettier today.

Person 2: Oh, thanks! I put make up on today.

Contrasting from the first example, this situation is much more comfortable because the first person makes it comfortable for the second person to actually admit what they did. It doesn’t seem as if they are attacking the second person into admitting what they did but rather giving them time to come out in the open about it.

Now I’m not just talking about situations for girls because guys can do this just as much as girls. Although I’m not sure of what topics they choose to confront others about, I’m sure there’s a whole list of them. I just gave an example of that scenario since it was the one I remember happening most frequently. I also remember people bringing up certain topics that are obviously uncomfortable to talk about.

I mean, a lot of people to it and I’m guilty of doing it also. But when I look back at it, it just seems so immature to do this. I keep telling myself, to not do things that I wouldn’t find uncomfortable in my own point of view. And it’s not like the other person doesn’t notice what is happening. Chances are, they clearly understand the situation they’re in.

This blog doesn’t seem finished to me, and I feel like I have a lot more that I want to say. Oh well, can’t seem to think straight. Maybe it was because I slept at 3 a.m. due to the fact that some people wouldn’t stop mentioning Paranormal Activities to me.